05.26.07
A Walk
I go for a walk. At first I am overwhelmed, as I was when I first arrived in Delhi. So much, so busy. I cannot find all the street signs, so I must wonder as I wander. I am afraid to cross the street. Traffic is so fast, so determined, so foreign. An old woman approaches me, hands cupped and outstretched. I am too freaked out to respond, so I ignore her as best I can and keep walking. I turn, then walk a bit more. I turn again.
A quieter street feels nice. Hallmark Cards. It’s closed. What does a card mean here? A banana vendor calls out as he pushes his hand cart. Men at tables in the street iron shirts with massive irons. I complete the block and then some. Where is the apartment building? Here is a busy street, is it the one from before? Shit, I’m lost. The old woman again. I can’t be far off. Perhaps I overshot it. Is this it? No street sign. OPAL. BABU CARS. Yes, here it is.
I walk past Goldmist Apartments, reassured by its continued existence. OPAL wedding cards. Cards again, what do they mean? I walk toward the uncle’s house where we take our meals. “Stick no bills,” a sign says. There are none. This is a rarity here. I walk past some of the city’s other homeless–two stray dogs nap beside the road, do not stir as I walk past. Is that the grandmother? If she sees me, she might think I’m lost. (I’m not now.) She doesn’t speak English, I’d have to call Pratik and have him explain. I turn and head home. My hour is twenty minutes from being over, and my mind is racing again with thoughts and questions. I realise I have been walking with purpose and pride, a shabby defense mechanism to hide that I am afraid.