01.28.06

The SB

Posted in Narratives at 20:13

Thursday night I was invited on a roadtrip to Santa Barbara. Twenty hours later, we hit the road. My friend Jen and I, and two of Jen’s next door neighbors, Josh and Jackson were going to support Jen’s friend Suz, who had a gig (playing guitar and singing) at a small, but classy restaurant in the downtown of the SB. After some trouble with one way streets and questionable addresses, we found the place in time for Suz’s second set. We got a table and ordered dinner. We were able to eat in a leisurely manner and enjoy the show.

Afterward, we followed Suz and her friend Steve to Suz’s uncle Elliot’s house where we were to stay the night. It was a very nice house nestled in the foothills of the Santa Ynez Mountains–high enough to escape light pollution and afford a beautiful view of the ocean. Uncle Elliot greeted us and offered us soda, chips, and frozen pizza, then retired to the den to watch a movie. The six of us kids got in the hot tub and admired the stars. After a while, the ladies segregated themselves to talk and make pizza. When the pizzas were done, we joined them inside, then went upstairs to watch Hitch. We didn’t get to sleep until four in the morning. Josh, Jackson and I slept on a balcony that connected the girls’ room and Steve’s room. We woke to an awesome view. The sun was rising behind the house and beautiful colours reflected on the water. Oil rigs stuck up out of the fog like black pirate ships, and in the distance, the silhouette of the Channel Islands could just be made out against the clouds. I admired the view for about thirty seconds without getting up, then slept in until 10:30.

Uncle Elliot made us a wonderful breakfast. We finally left his house at noon. Suz and Steve went to buy new tires for Suz’s car. The rest of us went to the beach. We leisurely walked up the beach, skipping rocks, watching dolphins, admiring starfish and sea anemones and hermit crabs, and collecting shark pods. Then we drove back. It was a really beautiful twenty-four-hour vacation.

01.20.06

A Dialogue

Posted in Narratives at 00:25

Alexander (seriously) : Wow, there must be twenty stars out tonight.
Erik: That many?
Alexander: Yeah.
Erik: It is pretty clear tonight.
Alexander: *laughs* That’s really sad.

01.10.06

Tension

Posted in Confessions, Narratives at 19:46

Today I found something in my mailbox today that made me mad. It was the payment for the electric bill I mailed last week. A note with a smiley face was taped to it: Hello! Just a friendly reminder that the price of stamps has been raised to 39 cents as of 01/08/2006[...]

The first thing that occurred to me was that this particular bill was due yesterday. Problem. The second was that I had mailed the payment prior to 01/08/2006. Uhh…Sunday. Yes, I mailed it Friday. Before 3PM even. Isn’t it reasonable to expect mail to be picked up the day it’s mailed? Certainly the day after. If it had gone out Friday, it should’ve had no problem making it down the street by the due date. That it had been returned to me four days after I’d sent it for having insufficient postage, when clearly the postage was correct on the day I sent it, was simply inexcusable. Those Student Post Office Nazis probably saved up several days worth of mail until Monday, just so they could sell more two cent stamps! The note went on to advertise that they were selling two cent stamps. Proof! I prepared myself to explain to the window lady how unacceptable this was, though I thought accusations of stamp-scalping might best be left to speculation.

Then it hit me (it was the Holy Spirit) how ridiculous this was. The window lady couldn’t fix the fact that my payment was late. Furthermore, she probably had nothing to do with the unfortunate situation. I realised that I didn’t have any right to be angry. And yet I was. Why was I angry? Then I understood, and laughed. I was angry because in truth I knew that it was my own fault. I had debated at the time the wisdom of sending the payment by mail so close to the deadline. And acted against my own better judgement.

I think we do this more than we realise. If something is truly beyond our control, there is no reason to be defensive. When we find ourselves defensive, it’s usually because we know it’s our own fault. By feeling hurt and enraged we betray our own guilt in an attempt to hide it.