05.05.05
Leaving Soon
This week has been filled not only with packing boxen, but also with the pencil-in sort used on Scantrons. Both sorts of boxing seem to have gone well, and there really isn’t much to say.
I ended up replacing my car’s battery on Sunday, which helped, but the alternator was, in fact, bad. Fortunately, I discovered this last night and not somewhere in Nevada on Saturday. The parts store didn’t have the part like they said, but they should get it in tonight or tomorrow, praise God.
Now for the promised spiritual reflection:
One of my biggest struggles at the beginning of the year was finding a church. I felt uprooted and disconnected as a result of going to a different church every week, but God promised me that He had a church for Ashley and I, and that He wouldn’t let us miss it. This really encouraged us, and indeed, He provided a church home and said, “This is the one.” He also gave me a group of passionate believers on campus to fellowship and grow with.
I’ve had to take a new level of responsibility for my own spiritual wellbeing. In my high school youth group, there was a fair amount of accountability to my pastor for, and general peer pressure toward seeking hard after God. At APU, most people aren’t interested in such things, especially among freshman men. It’s been hard to carve out the time to seek God and to get into His word, and this is something I’m still wresting with, but I can feel His hand in this area, and I know He’s growing me.
Another thing God has been teaching me is to bring my sorrows to Him. It seems like every time something goes wrong and I try to fix it on my own, or complain to friends, or seek human advice, things only get worse. I’m not saying that those responses are inherently bad, but personally, I tend to respond in one of those ways before I pray or listen for His voice. How much must it hurt God when He’s holding the answer in his hands, waiting to bless me with it, and I don’t even look at Him until all else fails?
God has also been repeatedly asking me to stand on personal promises He has made to me. It’s easy to doubt that I’ve heard Him correctly when the promises seem too good to be true. Or perhaps I believe them, but then when they aren’t fulfilled at the time and in the way that I expect, I decide I didn’t hear God after all. God’s promises are signs of His faithfulness and are there for me to enjoy, not to stress out over.
I’m sure there are more things, but I don’t need to write a novel.